4 weeks old!

I have now been a mommy for 4 weeks.  That’s roughly 228-336 feedings and diaper changes (8 low end; 12 high end daily) and 168 hours (give or take) of sleep, but who’s counting?

It has been an amazing 4 weeks – Every little whimper, gassy grin, coo, sigh, gulp, and belch – Goodness, I love it!  The saying “you don’t know love until you’ve had a child” is so true.  There is no stronger or bigger love than the love for your offspring. 

I have made a mental note to remember the following when Tanner is a toddler, adolescent, teenager and young adult: the way he gulps, sighs and coos while eating; the way his little hand fits perfectly under his chin while sleeping; the way his legs fall and cross while being cradled; his gassy grins; and, the “you are my provider” / “I completely trust you” expressions that fall on his face when being held.  Those are the small, special things that will get me through the rough years.  I’m sure the list will grow with every passing day, stay tuned.

It’s amazing to see the notable daily changes in his little face and body.  Just this morning I noticed his first little baby “fat” roll.  So CUTE!  And his little baby double chin, the only time you can get away with having a double chin is when you are a baby.  Am I right?  It’s exciting to watch him strengthen his neck and shoulder muscles.  All the better to hold that big melon up, which, by the way, he is getting better and better at every day.  If I’m this excited over these “little” things, goodness, I will be giddier than a school girl when he says his first word, starts crawling, etc.

A few things I have learned in my short 4 weeks as a momma: (i) there is only one reason for a woman to not breastfeed and that is simply because she does not want to (more on this below); (ii) it is safe for a breastfed baby to use a pacifier; (iii) yes, babies can drink water, though they prefer milk; (iv) breastfed babies spit up/poop REALLY doesn’t stain; and, (v) do whatever works, even if that means co-napping in mommy and daddy’s bed.

DISCLAIMER: I understand breastfeeding is a personal choice;

I mean no harm in expressing my thoughts on the matter and

do not look down on mommies who formula feed.

(i)         I was set on breastfeeding from the very beginning, but found myself becoming discouraged because people around me who had intentions of breastfeeding ended up not following through.  Excuses ranging from “I’m not producing milk”, “My nipples are cracked and sore”, and my newest favorite, “I have mastitis and had to stop”.  All of those things can be remedied – low milk production, medicine; sore/cracked nipples, correct the baby’s latch and lanolin; mastitis, antibiotics and no; you do not HAVE to stop nursing.  Speaking from current personal experience, mastitis is very painful, but take the antibiotics, warm compresses before nursing and ice packs after nursing and you will be fine in a few days.  That being said, my co-worker was right, it is simply the woman NOT wanting to breastfeed. 

I have enjoyed every moment being home, but I have definitely learned that the Lord did not place me in this world to be a stay at home mom.  I firmly believe that He placed me in this big world to be a daughter, sister, wife, mom and employee.  My “place” is definitely in an office and as bad as it may sound to some, I am looking forward to going back to work, though I will certainly miss my little boy.  I’m ready for my 8:30 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. weekly grind as a Secretary/Office Manager and my newest, 5:30 p.m. – 8:00 a.m., mommy. : )

At the beginning of my pregnancy I was terrified because it wasn’t planned, but now that Tanner is here, I can’t believe I was ever scared.  The Lord has certainly provided for my little family.  In January Wade and I were sweating bullets at the thought of hospital bills and diapers, but we are being fully taken care of.  It’s all in His hands and it’s amazing to see it all come together.  Thank you, Lord for your many blessings upon my family.

Update – Solely for the purposes of having my blog published for sentimental reasons.

33 weeks 3 days (July 16^th): Maternity pictures by the amazing and very talented Olivia Lott of Olivia Lott Photography.  This was a fun and very HOT shoot.  Thank you so much, Olivia!



Photo courtesy of Olivia Lott Photography



Photo courtesy of
Olivia Lott Photography



35 weeks (July 27^th): Last ultrasound of my pregnancy.  Tanner weighed approximately 6 lbs 1 oz and heartbeat was strong.  SN: I learned a valuable lesson this week – DON’T call your husband, leave a voicemail and send a follow-up text message all within minutes of each other.  He WILL call you back in a panic thinking you have gone into labor.  Lesson learned, LOL. : )



35 weeks



36 weeks (August 3^rd): Heartbeat of 140 and slightly less than a fingertip dilated.  My feet have started to swell regardless of how often they are propped or how much water I consume.  SN:  This terrifies my paternal grandmother.  According to her, “it’s not normal”, but that’s not what the doctor says.  Dr. trumps grandmother – sorry Mems.  Tanner was in his first wedding on August 6^th.  Congrats and best wishes to the happy couple!

37 weeks (August 10^th): Waking up at 4 a.m. everyday – what’s up with that?  Maybe it’s an indication as to the timing of Tanner’s arrival.  Heartbeat of 140 and no changes, he must really love his temporary bachelor pad.

38 weeks (August 17^th):  Heartbeat of 150, 1 cm dilated and his head dropped quite a bit.  I have now gained a total of 35 lbs – this is the only time a woman can proudly talk about weight gain.  So, there it is 38 weeks and 35 lbs.

38 weeks 6 days (August 22^nd):  My bag is packed, diaper bag is packed, car seat(s) are installed and the nursery is finally complete.  We only lack a baby.

My maternity leave begins tomorrow and I have to admit, I’m biting my nails on that one.  I hope I go into labor sooner, rather than later so that I can make the most of my very short leave.  This brings me to being a full-time mom who must maintain a full-time job after delivery of a baby.  Some people look down on women who have an obligation to their spouse/household and must return to work shortly after the birth of a child. 

Trust me, I would love nothing more than to have the ability to be a housewife, but I can’t because I have an obligation to my husband and pride myself in being an I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T (do you know what I mean?) woman.  If I wanted to allow a foreclosure on our house or allow a repossession of our vehicles, then sure, I wouldn’t go back to work; I would live off of governmental assistance and receive a monthly food stamp allowance.  Thankfully, I wasn’t raised that way.  I was taught at an early age that one must work hard for the things they want and need in life.  I was also taught that it is important for a woman to be independent.  I have had a job since I was 16.  8 years of being employed and with only 2 different employers.  I enjoy working and having the ability to afford the luxuries I have.  So, I’m sorry if it’s such a “bad” thing that I will HAVE to/WANT to return to work in order to properly, efficiently, and successfully assist in providing for my son.

This all goes back to sacrifice.  – c’est la vie

32 weeks 5 days, Baby Shower and Ranting

One more appointment down, very few to go.  Routine checkup went well last Wednesday.  I have gained three more pounds, blood pressure was perfect and Tanner’s heartbeat was strong.  We go back on the 27th and will begin weekly visits thereafter.

Baby Shower was a success.  We were showered with everything we could possibly need.  From diapers, bottles, clothes and blankets to a highchair, car seats and swings.  We have everything and then some for Tanner and are very blessed to know so many gracious people.  Special thanks to all of you!

I can’t believe we are in the final stretch and will soon have our little son to love and care for and make sacrifices for.  I understand full and well the sacrifices I will have to make in order to properly and efficiently raise my son.  I understand that I will not always be able to buy a new pair of shoes, go to an expensive, fancy restaurant like I was once able to or go on vacations on a whim, but I am completely fine with that.  So, when someone says to me: “Wait until you have kids, you will understand.”  I want to scream back in return “I ALREADY KNOW!” 

Wade and I have already had to sacrifice so much this year after finding out that I was pregnant.  Instead of paying for the 7 day cruise we planned to go on in 2012 with my best friends, we had to pay my insurance deductible for my prenatal care.  Instead of taking two weeklong vacation(s) for pleasure, I will be using all of my vacation time for maternity leave.  The money we have saved to “play with” for those “vacations” will be used to pay the bills while I am out of work.  When I return to work, in addition to paying the normal monthly bills, we will owe 30% of my hospital bill.  All of this topped off with sleepless nights, lack of showers, inability to eat, drink, etc.  How’s that for sacrifice?  So don’t tell me to “Wait until you have kids…” because I get it.  In fact, I understood the sacrifices one has to make in order to raise a family when I was 8 years old. 

Because Wade and I have already sacrificed so much, we are a stronger couple and strive to be the best parents we can and will be.  We don’t regret having to make any one of those sacrifices and look forward to the sacrifices we will have to make in the future.

28 weeks 5 days

                My apologies for not posting in a while, but Wade and I have been busy for the past two months and I have been experiencing writers block. 

                Wade painted Tanner’s room a nice neutral color and we have arranged the furniture in the room.  We washed, folded and put away all of the clothing we have received.  Tanner’s crib is now complete with mattress pads, sheets and bumper; and is VERY cute, if I do say so myself.  I painted wooden letters (sides: navy blue, front: light blue) to place above his crib and made a few appliqués to place on some onesies.  Our next DIY project, repurpose an old chest of drawers Wade has had since he was a tot for use as a changing table.  Wish us luck!

                We went to our last monthly checkup last Wednesday, June 8^th and all is well; Tanner weighed 3 pounds and is measuring beautifully.  I was concerned that he might have been a little on the “hefty” side considering his gestational age (NOTE: Reading up on all things baby can be beneficial, but not when it comes to “average” weight.), but my doctor assured me that he is right on schedule and that she will not let me have a 10 pound baby.  THANK GOODNESS.

                Which brings me to labor and delivery, as most women want their mothers in the room with them during this most precious time, I obviously am no different.  Unfortunately, my mother was taken from this big world several years ago; hence, she will not have the ability to be physically (in human form) present.  I am however very blessed to have three very inspirational women in my life, my paternal and maternal grandmothers and my aunt.  I look up to all three of these women and think highly of each of them.  Before doing something, I always ask myself, “would they approve?”  Teary-eyed, I decided to ask my aunt to be in the delivery room with me and Wade.  She gladly accepted and was completely honored to have been asked and to be one of the first few to catch that first glimpse of “Tanner Bananer”.

                I feel like my pregnancy has flown by and can’t believe our little man will be here in 11 short weeks.  I have such a strong bond and love for this little guy already and I haven’t met him.  Wade and I are ready for the challenges that lie ahead: the sleepless nights; late night feedings; the horribly smelly diapers; and being peed, puked, and pooped on.  So, my little Tanner man, “hit me with your best shot!”

Ooooh we’re half way there…

20 weeks and 1 day.  Tanner is now the size of a banana, growing rapidly and moving like crazy!  Wade had the opportunity to feel our little man move yesterday evening.  His expression was totally priceless and brought tears to my eyes.

I went to my OB yesterday and all is well.  Nothing exciting or special, just your typical check-up: weigh-in (NOTE: I have gained 5 pounds since my last appointment, which is great considering I didn’t gain any the time before that.); urine specimen (NOTE: Ladies, if your urine is Crayola “yellow-orange” you clearly need to drink more water.); blood pressure, perfect; fundal height measurement, 20 cm, right on track; and fetal heart monitoring, perfect.  Although, Tanner is quite the squirmy wormy and moved the whole time my Dr. was listening for his heartbeat.

This past month was busy and full of baby arrival planning.  We decided on the nursery theme of “Things that Go” (i.e. planes, trains, automobiles and boats) and will decorate with primary colors.  We purchased Tanner’s bedroom suite last month and I am waiting for Wade to get some time to paint so we can continue/finish setting up the nursery.  He’s got time, but I’m anxious to see Tanner’s room all set up.  We’ve also set up the baby registry at Target and my fabulous friends have baby shower arrangements underway.

Somewhat exciting news, my Dr. has tentatively cleared me for travel for an out-of-town Bachelorette party at the end of July.  I wish I weren’t “with child” so I could enjoy the adult festivities, but everything happens for a reason and I am confident I will have a great time with the girls.

Everything is progressing smoothly and we couldn’t be more pleased.  We are ready for Tanner to make his big debut.  Only 20 weeks to go!  Promise to keep you updated, thanks for reading!

Quick Update

I went to the OB this morning and as it turns out, we are having a boy! 

His name will be Matthew Tanner aka "Tan the Man", "Tanny Manny", "TJ", etc., etc. 

Words cannot describe Wade's joy over the news.  I was a little disappointed at first because I wanted a girl, but am thrilled that my little boy is healthy.  I am also very excited because one of my best friends is having a boy, too.  I'm sure those two boys will be the best of friends...like they have a choice! 

So, Ladies and Gentlemen:  LET THE SHOPPING BEGIN! : D

Monthly Visit, Maternity Pants and Randomness

ATTENTION READERS:  This particular blog entry will be the all over the place and totally random.  Please, bear with me.

I went to the doctor on February 16 (12 weeks) and all is well.  I have gained four pounds in four weeks, which is right on target.  An ultrasound was performed at this visit and here is the first image we saw of the baby.  We couldn’t help but laugh when we saw the baby was stretching.  I guess it’s one of those “had to be there moments”, but we couldn’t stop laughing.  I like to think that if it’s a girl she’s already practicing to be a flyer on her first cheer team.  If it’s a boy, we’d better stay away from the drapes and tall surfaces.  I go back to the doctor on March 16^th and if the baby cooperates, we will know the sex and exactly how the baby measures up to its gestational age.  We can’t wait! 

Truthfully, I’m tired of calling the baby: the baby, Baby J and it.  We are ready to know if we are having an E******** or a T*****.  Stay tuned for the unveiling of the names.   Also, I’m ready to start shopping for gender specific items and to set up the registry accordingly. 

I bought my first pair(s) of maternity pants and am puzzled as to why I was squeezing my pregnant tush into regular jeans.  Ladies, maternity pants are the MOST comfortable pants you will wear in your life.  Go out and buy a pair as soon as you find out your pregnant.  You’ll thank me later. ; )

Cravings: In the last few weeks I have been craving Mexican food like crazy!  While craving Mexican food isn’t unusual for me, I just crave it MORE often than when I wasn’t pregnant.  I have also been craving tangerines, sweet fruity candy and ice cream.  Not mixed, individually.

Aversions:  Can’t handle the smell of fried foods.  Just typing “fried foods” makes my stomach turn.  Yuck.

I’ll call this next photo “Momma, Carly and Baby J bonding time”.  Carly and I like to snuggle.  It’s one of our favorite pastimes, but I’m not sure how much longer we can do this.  She takes up the majority of my arm chair and likes to nap on top of me using my belly as a pillow.  Animals are intuitive when changes are happening and she’s been extra cuddly lately.  I hope I have room for Carly when the baby comes.  It breaks my heart to know that she is about to lose the majority of the attention she gets.  I love that little bitty girl to pieces!  Wade and I are confident that she will be fine with a baby considering how well she does with our niece and nephew.  She loves kids and they love her too!